The Sound of Silence

  I sit holding his head as he writhes during yet another seizure.  His eyes roll back in his head and he turns a horrible shade of blue.  He chokes and I do all that I can do keep him from biting his tongue to shreds.

The Sound of Silence....
"And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening...and no one dare, Disturb the sound of silence."

These lyrics have been going around and around in my head a lot lately.  They aren't the best lyrics, or maybe they're just hard to hear.  When I googled the song it came up under, "Disturbed Lyrics"
Well I'll go with that.  I am feeling deeply disturbed.

Sure it's mostly the same old thing I'm upset about.  It's the masses refusal to hear.  The medias refusal to report.  The Congress's refusal to care.   I found it ironic that my son couldn't hear after his MMR and he has never been able to speak again.  Funny that by silencing our children, they have also made the public DEAF!

As I was driving home from the clinic this past week, I kept thinking of that age old question, "If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one around to hear it, did it make a sound?"  I wanted to SCREAM!  SCREAM louder and harder than I've ever wanted to scream.  But I am pretty sure, just like that tree, there is no one to hear it.  You see this life we live, this life of pain, and sickness, and fear was not my choice, certainly not my son's choice.  Believe it or not, accept it or don't, my son was vaccine damaged.  That's right, I said it right out loud.  I SAID IT, and I STAND BY IT!!
He was fine one minute and the next he was BLUE and not breathing.  I knew the minute it happened, but all the doctors just kept trying to say it had to be something else!  Really?  Why did it HAVE TO BE SOMETHING ELSE?    However, they had no other answers.  After 18 long months of running tests, and wrong diagnosis's, they had ZERO answers.  I have a thought, maybe, two plus two actually EQUALS FOUR!!!  Imagine that?

Someone beginning to navigate this vaccine world with a new baby, someone I care a great deal about....tells me she does not read my "VACCINE POSTS" I admit I was a tiny bit surprised, and sad.  Okay, maybe shocked, I know a ton of people block me, and others just scroll as fast as they can.  I've been told how upsetting the truth is.  It's fine, I get it, you rather not know the truth.  It's super uncomfortable and you're not dealing with it every single day.  You get to sleep 7-8 hours every night.  Unlike my 25 years of averaging 4 hours.  You're not praying to live forever because you don't have to worry about WHO will care for your vaccine damaged child after you finally collapse into the grave.  I could ignore the truth too.  I could do it if I was you.  I don't know because that information didn't exist 25 years ago.  But it does exist now.  Honestly, is any excuse good enough to inject toxins full of heavy metals, and fetal dna into your baby without you feeling comfortable that you've done the research?  WHAT, WHAT do I have to do to get you to consider the possibilities?  Do I scream louder?  I imagine this blood curdling scream from a heart that has been broken over and over again for the last 25 years should be enough!   The blood curdling scream that I hear inside my mind when I realize you might not be willing to consider the truth, is so loud I shake my head to silence it.   Somehow you still can't hear me!  Do I send you more research?  I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't read that either.  What do I do?  How do I reach you?

The problem is, I KNOW WHEN YOU WILL HEAR ME.  After that injection that changes your babies life.  I'll be the first one you call after the doctors have no answers for you.  I'll be the one you're asking what to do.  I'll be the one that will help you.  I'll hold your hand, I'll cry with you.  But.... couldn't you just let me save you today instead? THIS IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME AND MY SON!  NOW IT'S ABOUT YOU, AND YOU'RE BABY!
Couldn't you just HEAR MY SCREAM TODAY?

I know it's not popular, I know it has lost me friends, and it won't win you any friends either.  But the reality is, if you choose the hard way.  If you choose to protect that tiny little life that God so graciously gave you.  Then WHO CARES about those who aren't on your side.  I PROMISE, let me say that one more time, I PROMISE that if you will research for say.... 30 minutes you will NEVER vaccinate that baby.  I CHALLENGE YOU to do so.  Isn't your babies future worth 30 minutes?  You prayed so many years for that baby.  Now you get to learn what it's like to love someone so much more than you have ever loved yourself.  You will protect that baby from so many perceived dangers.  This danger, has been hidden.  Cloaked in deception and lies.  Covered by billions of dollars that lines the pockets of our government officials, who love money more than children.

So let's consider for a minute what might happen if you don't vaccinate.  First your baby gets whopping cough.  That's bad.  It's horrible to watch and hear.  It could require hospitalization.  It's NO FUN.  Will your baby die, the chances are SO slim in America.  (the CDC says that 277 people died of pertussis from 2000 - 2015)  So five years later you dodged that bullet, and your six year old gets chicken pox. It's uncomfortable.  They will probably run a fever, the misery factor is off the charts.  They may be left with a few little scars, but they'll recover and now they are immune.  Good trade.  Two more years pass and your 8 year old comes down with measles. (Probably exposed by someone who got the vaccine and is still shedding the virus)  Wicked, wicked fever, lasts at least three days.  You need to monitor them, and keep them as comfortable as possible, you have to take off work... again, now their immune to measles, again, it's a good trade.  But none of these, not one of these is going to leave your child with brain damage.  With a life of seizures, with their future and all their hopes and dreams gone.  (SCREAMING-) NONE OF THESE!!!!
disclaimer - I am not a doctor.  I do know that there have been RARE cases of death with measles, and I do mean rare.  There has even been death with whopping cough, and brain damage from people who let their childs fever go unchecked for days)  although the chance is almost nil.  However, your chance of autism is 1 in 68.  ONE IN SIXTY EIGHT!!!!Yeah I'm screaming, ONE IN 68!!!

The tears pour down my face as I sob and beg God to open your eyes, your ears, your heart!  How do I NOT tell you these things and sleep at night?  Today my son isn't eating.  He also has Crohns disease, thanks to his vaccine damage.  The pain he is in daily makes me shudder as I think on it.  I sit holding his hands as he writhes during yet another seizure.  His eyes roll back in his head and he turns a horrible shade of blue.  He chokes and I do all that I can do keep him from biting his tongue to shreds.  As I do this, I think of you, and all the young mothers out there with cotton in their ears.  I think of the young doctors who KNOW the truth, but have been silenced by their boards, and employers to keep their mouths closed or lose their jobs.  Then I wonder... would I have listened?
Would I have researched all those 26 years ago?

I don't know the answers to any of those gut wrenching questions, but what I do know is, I wish with every cell in this mommas heart that I had been challenged to do so.  Honestly there is no other choice, I will post this blog, and pray you read it.  I will beg God to move this blog up on the google search engine every time a young mother starts to search.  Mostly I will pray for all of you who have little ones and you're struggling with what to do about the next round of vaccines.

My son has stopped seizing now, and he's beginning to breathe.  His color isn't a normal pink yet, but it's no longer twilight blue.  I lay my tired head on his panting chest and listen to his heart beat.  In the thump thump I hear, "speak out mother.  Tell them.  Save as many as you can!  Make something good out of all this suffering!  Please, make my life matter!"  I sit up with an even stronger resolve.

His eyes blink open as he swims up towards consciousness.  His hand is shaking hard, but he reaches towards me with a thousands words written in his eyes that I cannot read.  My resolve increases, and I know my voice will now be amplified by adding his voice to mine.
If I stay silent, then they have silenced him as well.  I cannot allow that, they've stolen so much already.

The sound of guttural choking, the sound of body parts thrashing, the knowing looks as he holds my hand and wishes for a different life.  This, this is the COST of SILENCE.

"Fools, " said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
And the words that it was forming

And the sign said,
"The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls."
And whispered in the sound of silence

**Research websites
www.vactruth.com
www.generationrescue.org
www.thinkingmomsrevolution.com
www.ageofautism.com
www.callous-disregard.com
www.canaryparty.org