Going through some really old photos...I came across one of me and my sisters. I was maybe nine, wearing my favorite go go boots, and mini skirt. I had a big 'ole pout on my face, bottom lip out and my arms crossed. I laughed at how angry I was that day. I remembered saying to my momma, "That's not fair!"
She looked at me with tired eyes, and a whole lot of life experience and said, "That's exactly right! Life isn't fair, and the sooner you learn that the better off you'll be!" It infuriated me. My baby sister got a new toy at the TG&Y and rest of us got nothing. Momma had promised it to her for good behavior while the rest of us were at school. She was often a tantruming two year old tyrant. (Sorry sister, but you know it's true!) How was that even a little bit fair to the rest of us?
I was thinking about it when I got one of those nudges from the Holy Spirit. Ya know the kind that hits you right in the heart and you realize you're doing it again?
That still small voice gently whispered, "You're mad aren't you? Because, again, life isn't fair!" My face burned, it sure hit the target. I am mad. Want to know why? I'm frustrated, maybe even angry. Because, Life isn't fair!
Have you ever asked God for something. You prayed hard, and diligently, You prayed for years...then watched Him hand it to someone else?
As a child I used to pray for some pretty frivious things. Like...that my freckles would fade, or that my sisters would never get married and leave, or that my momma would live forever.
But the prayers I pray now are of a much more serious nature. They often feel like life and death...and somedays they are. I pray with a snotty nose, and a thousand tears into a soaked pillow, exposing the deepest of my wounds. The one place my heart is totally transparent and vulnerable.
"We must lay before him what is in us; not what ought to be in us." C.S. Lewis
I guess the lingo would be I am REAL during those prayers. I am real and unguarded with God, which is exactly how He has asked me to be.
As I nursed my frustration and let's be honest, some ugly pride...I asked myself if I thought I was more deserving. Of course I know the answer, in spite of my strong desire to argue to the contrary. Did the number of my prayers, or the sincerity of them guarantee me the answer?Well...Yes and No!
The reality is, what my prayers do guarantee me, and what they guarantee you...is that God will answer. The problem is, it's rarely ever the answer we expect. Our list must be held up to God with an open hand. With the faith that He knows best. That if His answer is wait...or even a "NO" we believe might kill us...can we accept it and still believe that God is good?
"Prayer is the easiest and hardest of all things; the simplest and the sublimest; the weakest and the most powerful; its results lie outside the range of human possibilities-they are limited only by the omnipotence of God." Edward McKendree Bounds
I asked God recently how long a certain trial would last. If I know HOW LONG, it's easier to endure. During my pilates/class of torment, I watch the clock. I can do anything for 45 minutes. LOL It helps me endure. I began laughing as I asked God, "Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Prayer app, that gave me the status of my prayers. It would say, "Prayers have reached the heavens...I could watch them travel and sit before God's throne. Then...prayers are being considered...and I'd track them all the way to...answers are on the way." It would have a little map and I'd be able to track the progress. I thought it was a great idea. The only problem is... would it eliminate "Faith?"
Sighhh (I still think it's a good idea.)
I leave you with the ultimate prayer...the one Jesus taught us to prayer. Only it has been rewritten for children... raise your hand if you are one of His favorites.
Hello Daddy!
We want to know you.
And be close to you.
Please show us how.
Make everything in the world right again.
And in our hearts too.
Do what is best--just like you do in heaven,
And please do it down here, too.
Please give us everything we need today.
Forgive us for doing wrong, for hurting you.
Forgive us just as we forgive other people when they hurt us.
Rescue us! We need you.
We don't want to keep running away and hiding from you.
Keep us safe from our enemies, You're strong, God.
You can do whatever you want. You are in charge.
Now and forever and for always!
We think you're great!
Amen! Yes we do!
If you'd like prayer...for anything at all, feel free to reply, and I wil add your request to my own. I apologize for not being able to offer a tracking link.
