How safe are you?

Friday, Britton was out of school.  He's an early riser, and it was only 75 degrees, so we decided to go for a bike ride.  It was a really awesome ride, and we were enjoying ourselves.  I noticed that lots of people walking and riding were smiling and waving at us.  I can't really see what he's doing back there, but I figured he must have a huge smile on his face.  He was stimming with his left hand which looks very much like waving.  Hello fellow walkers and riders.  :)

I had a big plan for all the errands we were going to, all running through my head as we rode.
I was praying that Britton was up for it.  That we wouldn't go anywhere he couldn't handle.  That no where would be super crowded, and that I'd be able to handle whatever happened.  As I was riding along the bayou, I noticed this big white bird.  Now, I don't really know what it is, but I always see it and wonder.  It's a REALLY BIG bird.  I think it's some kind of bird that you normally see at the beach.  As that thought crossed my mind, I begin to hear a still small voice.

"Most these birds live at the ocean.  He'll never taste fresh fish, he'll never smell the ocean breeze, he will always eat bugs and catfish."  I thought, So why does he stay?  The answer was obvious, because he's safe, that's why.  No predators along the sewage filled bayou.

I was so stunned by the thoughts going through my head.  It took me a minute or two, but then I got the connection.  I struggle so hard with taking Britton into the public.  I never know what's going to happen, it's always like Russian Roulette.  Will he stay with me, will he run off?  Will people get angry, will they stare nonstop?  On and on the fearful questions pummel my subconscious.
But I realize, that I have a choice, just like the bird.  I can stay by the bayou... eating bugs, or I can take a huge giant leap of faith every single day, and smell the ocean breeze.  So today, we went to Costco, then to the car wash, then to the bank, and ate lunch at Willie's Icehouse.  Some people really rather not think about the disabled, they are really bothered by my "putting us out there" for them to have to see.  Others however are inspired and grateful and kind.  There will always be both kinds of people, there will always be those who Britton inspires, and those who cringe and stare.  But because I really want him to smell the ocean, to eat fresh fish, and soar on the ocean breeze.  I'll just keep praying for God to protect us from the "predators" that we will inevitably encounter.  There are so few of us willing to step out there with our disability for the world to "appraise."  I have to say that I am stunned by how rude and uneducated so many people are to the disabled.  For those of you who wonder, you shouldn't stare.  BUT... you should acknowledge.  If you are afraid to look, and you quickly look away, it can seem like  you're either disgusted or freaked out.  So, do what you do with ANY stranger.  Just look the person in the eyes, and smile.  It would okay to even say hello.  Britton has stunned me time and again, by speaking back and replyng, "Hi."  I do find that if I can convince him to wear his t-shirt that says, "Autistic Genius" that people are less fearful.  The fear of the unknown seems to be a huge part of it.  For Britton, he looks so normal, lots of people are just trying to figure out if he's "normal" or he's not?

I consider today a success.  We went, we saw lots of folks and we didn't cause anyone to run in fear.
It was a day of soaring on the currents, a day of eating only fresh fish.  I'm not always brave, some days I take him through the drive thru cause it's really busy inside and I'm not up for it.  Yep on those days we might as well eat bugs.  It can be after a difficult situation in the public, and I cower sometimes for weeks.  I'm not alone, many moms and dads have never taken their autistic children to the movies, grocery shopping or out to eat.  Some of them have spent their lives between home and school, and a school bus.  That's it.  More and more schools are refusing to take children out as well.  Insurance premiums are just too high.  So, if you've never seen someone with autism out shopping, don't be surprised.  Even though they are 1 in 54, they are pretty much sitting beside a sewage filled bayou, eating bugs and bottom feeders. (Mostly hiding in their homes, or schools)  It's a scary world out there.  I'll never see that bird again and think or feel the same way.  I'll hope he eventually disappears and I'll believe he finally woke up one day and decided that really living is worth far more than being safe.  What do you think?  Should we play it safe, just eat the mosquitoes and flies, safely scoop up the catfish out of the sewage filled water?  Or should we risk it all, by getting on a plane once a year and flying across an ocean to paradise?  Should we gamble that people will be kind, and even if autism has a melt down, it will be worth the risk?  You've seen my pictures, you know I'm a gambler at heart.  So here's to eating fresh fish, chasing the sun across the water, and here's to that white bird.  May he take flight.