"Anxiety - a meteor shower of what-ifs!" Max Lucado
In the last month, I've read a plethora of books on anxiety. I suppose that's understandable...with what's happening in the world, even the "Tina and Louise" personalities are struggling with all the newsworthy "what ifs."
COVID has added a level of anxiety none of us could've imagined...even for all the "normal" families out there. Will I have a job? What will I do when the unemployment runs out? Will I be able to keep my home, my car... it's a pretty serious list.
When you have a disabled child who depends on you, day in and day out... you get to add the impossible to your list of fears. This whole "stay home,""wear a mask," is draining the life out of each of us. Whether you are pro-mask, or anti-mask, either way, the stress it creates is causing hives, and heart palpitations in the folks I consider to be the anchors of calm.
One day, I realized that I don't laugh like I used to. One of the side effects of COVID is apparently less laughter. I stopped watching the news BEFORE COVID. I was done with the negative influence it had on my life. I realized there was never ever any good news and it caused me anxiety. After all my eyelashes fell out...TWICE, I started cutting out all the outside angst. I mean, I have a choice, so I chose to be "less informed" and happier. Ya know what...I was completely fine not being "informed," and I slept better. (Now I wonder if "informed" really means indoctrinated?)
In the first few months of COVID Crazy Town...Britton regressed into his own new level of despair. THEY PROMISED we would...flatten the curve and be done with this thing. But I had no idea there was an agenda. That after we did all the things and flattened the curve into nonexistence... they would create a whole new graph of things to worry about.
Each graph is a graph of the latest anxieties. This is the graph of how many are dying, and this is the graph of how many are sick, and this is the graph of how many we think might get sick and die. Yep, there's some anxiety for you. If you watch the news they will happily serve it up at dinner each night. You can eat that anxiety for supper and no amount of antacid is gonna ease your heartburn.
Now I'm not one for sticking my head in the sand...but since getting my son out of bed each day is a monumental chore because there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. He no longer cares to come downstairs, he really doesn't even care if he eats. Today my momma heart was up in my throat when he typed..."I am so heavy heavy. I worry about real boys, momma. I worry that real boys may never be happy again. I live in a prison of nowhere. "
What do I say to that? "A prison of nowhere?" Well, that just about sums up this whole Corona Circus. It is a prison of nowhere. The news...a prison of nowhere. The projections...a prison of nowhere. I looked through about 20 different news feeds and I could not find HOPE in any of them.
We are lead by our masks...(some of us by our noses)...in a circle of futility. Every promise is broken, every statistic a mistake, everything we are being told is corrected, refigured, restructured...there does not appear to be a crumb of truth in any graph.
The news is a whirlwind that will scoop your hopes and dash them against the latest graph of despair. BUT THEN this past week I stumbled upon Philippians 4:6-8. I'm going to write it here...only it's not going to be the King James or the Amplified or any of those. This is going to be the Teresa translation. It's what it means to me...at this moment. You feel free to look it up and translate it inside your own heart.
There is no need for you to worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Take all that you're worrying about and turn it into powerful prayers. God will listen to every concern you have. Before you can say, Covid19, He will give you peace, and you will know that everything is under His control. He's not surprised by anything that is happening in the world, and that in itself should bring you peace. Don't you feel better already? You can sleep at night, knowing He's got the whole world, (which includes YOU,) in His hands. It's so much better talking to God about it...than holding on to every worry till it's too heavy to even lift. You can build it into a mountain so big you can't even climb it.
Fill up your mind with who God is. Why not think about what is genuine, instead of all that the media tries to fill your head with? Let's think of the good things, the best things that are part of our world. There is enough ugly to go around, it's exhausting There are beautiful, amazing, gracious, people in the world. Let's just focus on those and talk about those. The rest of it... let it go. You are safe in His hands, you always have been."
In one of my Anxiety books, I read, "It's not God's will that you lead a life of perpetual anxiety." Well, AMEN to that. I'm so glad to hear it. I read it and then I understood that it means I have a choice. So, I am no longer reading books about Anxiety. I've switched to reading books about hope, and happiness. WHY NOT?
I've been baking things, eating things that I love more than I ever have. (Yes my pants are tight.) But I just believe it's important that we choose happiness. We can't face every day with dread, and fear. What kind of people will we become if we do? I made my husband's favorite pie...just because he loves it. He eats it late at night. The house finally quiet, his work done for the day. He relaxes, and relishes each bite. I love watching him eat it. It probably takes him 30 minutes to enjoy that one piece. He cuts a piece with his fork and puts that one bite in his mouth and savors it. I want to live my life the way he eats that pie. This moment in time is all we have. Virus or no virus, this is our pie.
I have gotten creative. I bought a tv tray and moved it into Britton's room. If he won't get up he can just DO THINGS in his bed. We read and find youtube videos to reinforce what we're studying. We listen to praise and worship from all over the world. (Jesus is the same everywhere...how cool is that?)
He's begun laughing again. He no longer refuses to bathe or get dressed. It's a step in the right direction. We will come out on the other side of this thing, with our hopes and our hearts intact. We will eat this pie, and relish each day that is given to us. Looking for the good, no matter how many scary graphs are on the news.
I just might make a graph...of how much hope we've found...it might even taste better than pie.
God bless you all and always remember HE IS FOR YOU!
The Choosing is Book ONE of The Chronicles of The Shadowlands
If you have held off getting your copy... here's the link
https://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Finding-Truth-Chronicles-Shadowlands-ebook/dp/B0833JQ2PZ/
No comments:
Post a Comment